Most to Least Likely to Fuck Shit Up Because They Find it Funny
Thoughts on the Signs as Friends
- Aries: The kind of friend who'll call you in the middle of the night and ask you to come over to their house and watch movies just because they're bored. What do you mean your mom will kill you? Leave a note, it'll be fine.
- Taurus: The kind of friend you can count on for comfort food. Put on Magic Mike because there's no broken heart a tub of ice cream can't heal.
- Gemini: The kind of friend who'll be able to get you out of even the darkest of moods. Their jokes won't allow you to even remember what got you so pissed, which of course is inconvenient if they're the reason.
- Cancer: The kind of friend who'll baby the fuck out of you. Sure, they can be nagging at times, but it's because they want the best for you. Whether they're right on that is another matter.
- Leo: The kind of friend who's definitely the 'prettier one'. Their personality shines like the sun and, even though you kinda want to resent them for hoarding the spotlight, you just can't.
- Virgo: The kind of friend you count on to be your planner. They never let a deadline fly past and will make sure neither will you. It can get really annoying until you realize that they do it because they really care about you. Their worry for you is definitely endearing.
- Libra: The kind of you friend that can convince you to do anything. They are so charming and just plain nice, you can't help yourself from wanting them happy. Always seeing every side of a situation, their arguments will disarm any pretense you might have of opposing them.
- Scorpio: The kind of friend you tell all your secrets too. Their reassuring and nonjudgemental vibe will make tell all.
- Sagittarius: The kind of friend who you can count to tell you the truth. Of course, they're blunt style might hurt some feelings, but they will never be anything but honest.
- Capricorn: The kind of friend who takes care of damage control. Will be able to take out of any crisis. They may not be as charming as a libra, but they know how to get things done.
- Aquarius: The kind of friend who's definitely the 'crazy one'. These are the kind of people you can be weird with since they're quite weird themselves. These guys will always surprise you with whatever they're obsessing with that day.
- Pisces: The kind of friend that doesn't know how to say 'no'. They're so empathetic that your pain is also theirs, they will drop anything to help you and do it gladly.
The Signs as Accomplices
- Gemini: Will have a million of ideas as to where to dispatch the body. Best liars.
- Scorpio: They watch the most crime shows. You know they’re all over ‘How to Get Away with Murder’. Least likely to cave under pressure.
- Libra: Also great liars. They’ll be able to divert the conversation to save you from suspicion. Too likable to be suspected.
- Aquarius: They have clear minds and work well under pressure. They know how to keep their cool.
- Cancer: If they care about you, they’ll do anything to protect you. Most likely to burst into tears to avoid questioning.
- Leo: Same as cancer. Most likely to make up an elaborate alibi.
- Capricorn: They’re thorough as hell and won’t overlook any incriminating evidence. Morals might make things difficult.
- Aries: Too impulsive. Might have too much fun destroying the evidence. Upside: they can bullshit their way through anything. Perfect for an alibi.
- Sagittarius: Same as Aries. Most likely to accidentally spill the proverbial beans.
- Taurus: Might help if they care enough about the person, but they'll probably value their peace of mind too much.
- Pisces: Too empathetic. They’d feel too bad about it and turn themselves in.
- Virgo: They’ll go into overdrive and turn themselves (and you) crazy. Worse liars.
How to Get the Signs to Do What You Want
- Fire signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius): Two words: Reverse Psychology. Tell them that you don't think they could do it or that you'd probably do it better. Play into their competitive streak.
- Air signs (Libra, Gemini and Aquarius): Use their curiousity against them. Make it seem like what you want is the most interesting thing. Keep in mind that these guys are the hardest to fool. You might be forced to bargain.
- Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn): Convince them they're the only ones who could do it. Make it seem like a big responsibility. Unlike with the fire signs, with these guys you have to pretend you're useless.
- Water signs (Cancer, Pisces and Scorpio): Guilt trip them. Also, pretend you're useless but way more pathetic. Make them feel sorry for you.
What To Do When The Signs Are Down
- Air signs (Libra, Aquarius and Gemini): Be there. Distract them. They might personally prefer solitude, but that's where they try to rationalize their feelings and make them be a million times worse.
- Water signs (Pisces, Cancer and Scorpio): Same as the air signs, be there or they'll slowly destroy themselves in solitude. They also need some advice since their emotions tend to cloud their judgement.
- Earth signs (Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo): They've already thought about a million solutions to their problem, so they don't really need advice. Though, since doing said solutions is another story, a fresh perspective might help. Mostly allow them to vent.
- Fire signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius): Stop them from doing something they'll regret. They'll need some sense knock into them. Also, distract them with something fun.
The Signs in School
- Aries: That one kid who takes P.E. way too seriously. Probably has a 'problem with authority'. Always ends up being a group leader somehow.
- Taurus: Doesn't really like to stand out much. The one who brings stuff for their friends on Valentine's Day and such. Quiet and generally well-liked.
- Gemini: Always getting in trouble for talking in class. It doesn't matter where the teacher moves them, they always find someone to talk to. For some reason, they manage to get good grades on exams, even though it seems like they never pay attention.
- Cancer: Has a small, close group of friends. Most terrified to get out of school and go to college.
- Leo: Over achievers. Leaders, but more responsible (and controlling) than Aries. Can't wait for graduation.
- Virgo: The teacher's pet. They're hot-wired to treat school as a life or death thing. Think Hermione in real life.
- Libra: They like to talk, but manage to charm their way out of trouble. The teacher probably has a soft spot for them.
- Scorpio: Their grades are proportional to their level of interest in the class. Likes to play the devil's advocate.
- Sagittarius: "He's got a lot of potential, if only..."
- Capricorn: Class president. Also, takes school way too seriously, but not as easy to take advantage of as Virgo. Won't let you copy their homework in a million years.
- Aquarius: Same as Scorpio. Argues with the teachers a lot. Always has a unique point of view that half the class thinks it's stupid/insane and the other half thinks is brilliant.
- Pisces: They either care enough about not disappointing their parents they're good at school or don't care at all and spend the day doodling. There is no in-between. Often the quiet kid.
The Signs and PDA
- Fire signs (Leo, Aries, Sagittarius): Usually very demostrative. They just don't care. They really don't care. Huge huggers.
- Earth signs (Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus): Don't like it. They tend to be very private and care a lot about their space. They might humor you, but will be obviously uncomfortable.
- Air signs (Libra, Gemini, Aquarius): They're not comfortable by it either, but mostly because (to them) it's very awkward. The possibility of it doesn't even really cross their minds, so they'd be taken by surprise by it.
- Water signs (Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer): They don't really mind it, but they're easily embarrased. The more they trust you the more affectionate they are. Mostly 'clings' to whoever they're with.
The Signs and Their Clothes
- Fire signs (Leo, Sagittarius, Aries): Bright, cheery colors. Red is used a lot. There is always at least one item picked to attract attention. They dress to depress. Wait, I mean impress.
- Earth signs (Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus): Doesn't really liked to stand out. Soft and earthy tones are preferred. Comfortable in dark colors. They don't necessarily care a lot for how they look, but they certainly care enough. Super conscious of the way people see them.
- Water signs (Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio): Usually pretty bohemian. They like to dress comfortably and might wear loose clothes depending on how little they care. They're not into anything too bright. They don't like to attract attention.
- Air signs (Gemini, Aquarius, Libra): They might like to stand out, but more in a I-don't-care-about-what-other-people-are-wearing way. They don't really care about what other's think. Don't put that much stock into how they look.
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